Three Guys in a Basement

I just finished watching Untraceable, and I haven’t seen Silence of the Lambs in about a year, so I’m writing this entirely on memory.  Any misstated facts are because I remembered them incorrectly, or changed them to fit my argument.  So here’s the plot of a movie: “Female FBI agent searches for mysterious serial killer who takes his victims to his basement.  In the basement, he keeps them alive for a period of time until ultimately killing them.  Previously mentioned FBI agent gets tied up personally into the hunt, and the film ends with a climactic basement scene.”

Sound like Silence of the Lambs?  Well, it’s also the plot for Untraceable, but that’s not a bad thing.  First of all, Silence of the Lambs is one of my favorite movies, and Untraceable is a good movie in my opinion.  But here are some notable differences:

• The internet.  The premise of Untraceable is that the serial killer is webcasting the deaths.  He hooks them up to some sort of apparatus, Kevorkian-style, and as more visitors come to the site, it hastens the death.  I don’t think Al Gore had even invented the internet yet when Silence of the Lambs came out.
• Old Diane Lane is much hotter than a young Jodie Foster.
• Scariness, creepiness factor.  Silence is by far a much scarier film.  I mean, Anthony Hopkins escapes at one point by killing a cop, cutting off his face, and putting that face over his own.  And Buffalo Bill is killing fat chicks to make a suit out of human skin.  That just blows Untraceable out of the water.
• Anthony Hopkins.  Untraceable is missing that dynamic male villain.  Anything with Anthony Hopkins is amazing, from Silence of the Lambs, to Legends of the Fall, to Meet Joe Black (bonus points for Brad Pitt movies).
• “It rubs the lotion on its skin…”  Probably one of my all-time movie quotes.  In fact most of my favorite movie quotes come from this movie that I use in everyday life, including “Quid pro quo” or the Austin Powers variation: “Squid pro row”

Here are some of the highlights from Untraceable, and reasons why it is a good movie:

• Unadulterated commercialism.  Within the first 15 minutes, I think I saw Microsoft stuff like 5 times.  There is a gratuitous OnStar commercial, where Diane Lane needlessly calls OnStar when she is stuck in traffic, and the operator tells her that there is an accident ahead and she’ll be clear soon.  Local TV news station, Fox 12, is featured prominently.  This is a real station, and is mentioned more in the movie than I’ve ever seen before, and even plays a minor role in the plot.
• Portland, OR.  The entire movie takes place in my hometown.  I saw my office building at least 4 times and I was definitely digging the multiple overhead shots of the city.  I also liked the opening scene when Diane Lane is going to her office in the prominently named Federal Building.  I’m sure some people will chalk that up to lazy writing of the script, but seriously, in Portland the federal building is called the Federal Building.
• Diane Lane.  She’s definetely super hot, and has a thing for movies starting in “Un”, with other hits such as Under the Tuscan Sun, and Unfaithful (in which her character made me hate women for a while).  Much like Anthony Hopkins, I think like watching any movie that she is in.

Overall, I give this movie my thumbs up.  It’s your basic thriller but I think it’s better than the rest that are currently being produced.  Sure, it’s kind of a knock-off of Silence of the Lambs, but that’s a good script to copy at least.