Three Guys in a Basement

So, who will win the US Open?  Many people say this is Tiger vs. Phil, due to the pairing of the two of them in the same group on Thursday and Friday.  Based off of the picture evidence, Tiger would strike me as the almost surefire winner in this battle.  However, you have to take into account that Tiger is coming off of knee surgery and Phil is coming off a win at the Colonial just two weeks ago.  Also, people have been making a big deal over the fact that Phil lives at Torrey Pines, or at least plays there enough so that it’s like he lives there.  My question to this, then, is how come Tiger has won 6 Buick Invitationals on the course to Phil’s 3?  In fact, Tiger has won 5 of the last 6 Buicks, only being bested once (in 2004), and that was by the greatest golfer/drinking buddy of all time:

Of course, Woods is the Vegas favorite to win the championship.  We at tgiab.com break down the field:

Phil Mickelson

Playing solid golf this season, with two wins already in 2008.  Mickelson is also the favorite of Golf Magazine and ESPN.  While Golf Magazine is a respectable magazine put out by the same people behind Sports Illustrated, ESPN is, as we at tgiab.com firmly believe, run by the evil people of the East Coast Bias Machine.  If Rick Reilly, who once was a respectable columnist for Sports Illustrated, has been brainwashed into rooting for Phil, then we know that the ESPN hype machine is already hoping for the Phil win.  At tgiab.com, we know that means bad things for Phil.  Did you ever notice how the Yankees haven’t won the World Series since 2000?  This is due to the fact that 2000 was the year that ESPN started to fall inextricably into a complete East Coast bias, and the Yankees just couldn’t shoulder that weight.  The guess here is that Phil won’t be able to handle it, either.  9-1 odds.

The Field:

Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson have combined to win 7 of the 13 majors played since the beginning of 2005.  Of those 6 players, not a single one has won two majors.  Therefore, we do not believe that The Field should be split up into such borderline decent players as Geoff Ogilvy, Angel Cabrera, Padraig Harrington, etc.  Plus, none of those guys I just mentioned are American and I’m sure there is a rule that an American has to win the US Open every 6 years (Tiger in 2002, Steve Jones in 1996, Hale Irwin in 1990, Fuzzy Wuzzy Zoeller in 1984, Andy North in 1978, Jack Nicklaus in 1972;  Anyway, you get the idea) .   So, we can eliminate any non-American from real contention this year.  So we don’t have to guess if this is finally the tournament that Freddy Garcia finally gets the big Major win.  It’s not.  You can take that to Vegas.*  As for the Americans, we have been told that it does not appear that John Daly will be gracing Torrey Pines with his presence.  Without Daly’s boozing and buffoonery, we at tgiab.com don’t give the Field much of a chance (which probably means that this is where the winner may really come from).  13-1 odds.

Tiger

Isn’t he supposed to be the best golfer ever?  Doesn’t that mean that when times are tough and he’s coming off of knee surgery, that he should still come away with the win?  I know Paul Pierce would.  Like MJ playing through the flu in Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals, Kirk Gibson limping the bases after hitting that walk off home run in Game 1 of the 1988 World Series, and Jack Nicklaus battling old age at the 1986 Masters, Tiger will win, because that is what the great ones do.  Just ask the Patriots.  1-4 odds.

*TGIAB.com is not liable for any guarantees regarding betting or wagering.

Filed under: Golf