Well, its not really done as I haven’t consulted with the other 2 members of TGIAB, but JoePa already decided he’s applying and I’m sure I have dogolfer’s and ndgravy’s consent on this. In lieu of today’s much anticipated, and overdue news of Kevin White’s departure from Notre Dame, TGIAB is officially applying to be the next athletic director at Our Mother’s university.
It will be a 4 headed monster and we will return ND’s football program to where it was in the late 20′s, the 40′s, 60′s, 70′s and late 80′s through ’94, and continue to improve the non-revenue sports’ production. JoePa will be acting commissioner on all things related to the Ski Club and he’ll assist dogolfer in making 4th down calls when ND has the ball inside the opponent’s 40 yard line. If this situation arises during the first 10 minutes of the game, we will give full authority to the coaching staff, as there’s a 50/50 chance TGIAB will be dog-piling somewhere outside the stadium. Dogolfer will be the head 4th down coach, commissioner of the Women’s Hockey program and a
consultant in the Golf department. He will also represent us in press conferences with one response: “I dunno.” NDGravy will assume full responsibility as the Athletic Department’s general counsel. He will have his hands full keeping the other 3 AD’s out of trouble because of inappropriate pre-game behaviors and he will probably represent himself on a number of occasions as well. As for myself, I will be in charge of hot dog revenues and act as the head groundsman for the baseball field. We made lots of errors this year and I blame it on the grooming of the infield. Everything else will fall into place.
In reality, I don’t think ND will bite at our offer, but I think I speak for all of us that having Kevin White no longer a part of the program can only be a positive. As ’05 graduates we’d like to thank KW for the George O’Leary fiasco, the Tyrone debacle, The Urban Meyer embarassment and the joke that has become our future football schedule.
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Definitely, we are more than qualified for this. During our 4-year tenure as students, there were 5 head football coaches employed by the university (if you include Interim Head Coach Kent Baer for the Insight Bowl).
Not to mention the sweeping changes we can make to coaching basketball, with a strategy focused on always making sure we have the last shot.
Tailgating should be implemented as a varsity sport.
mike mccoy put his name in the running yesterday. that’s some stiff competition for tgiab
Tgiab fears no one. If there was ever a group of four whose stewardship was tailormade for living in South Bend and being associated with tailgating and ND sports, it was this group. I feel our experience running this site has more than prepared us for the challenges that lie ahead as we prepare schedules with a home and home against Alabama, Florida St., Ohio St. and Oregon as well as neutral site games of Georgia in Orlando, Texas A&M in Arlington, Oklahoma in KC, and Wisconsin in Chicago. We of course will take on all top tier teams in home and home games as well. If a student at ND ever goes to school for 4 years without at least two interesting home games outside of UM and USC, we will quit our jobs on the spot.* Furthermore, we will pay Nevada NOT to play us in 2009. There is no need to allow any more riffraff teams to play on the sacred ground that is ND Stadium. Finally, there will always be a game in November against a team like Tennessee, West Virginia, etc. so that there is a reason for fans to pour into South Bend in the late Fall to watch ND football play real teams. No more Duke and Syracuse to lull ND fans to sleep during the colder months of the season. Of course, we all know that ND is poised to win 4 straight NC starting in 2009 and will probably win 5 Heismans between Crist and Clausen.
As for basketball, we will immediately fix the early season schedule so that we play interesting match ups during the nonconference schedule. We will implement a Notre Dame vs. Illinois game that will rotate between the United Center in Chicago and Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis. We will bring teams like Michigan, UCLA, Kentucky and even ACC teams like Duke and North Carolina to the JACC (which will be renovated with improved amenities for the fans as well as practice facilites for the men’s and women’s basketball teams and women’s volleyball). ND basketball will be a fun sport to watch and there will be compelling games all season long. As for the renovations of the JACC, we will pay for these by throwing awesome tailgates before all of football and basketball games. All revenues from these drunkfests will go into the center, so I’m sure the collars won’t mind.
For hockey, dogolfer will make sure that the “new” hockey arena is one of the nicest, if not “the” nicest, facility in all of college hockey. With the upgraded facilities and coach Jackson, ND will surely become a power and will win numerous Frozen Fours.
In the area of baseball, I think rsand’s idea of redoing the field will make the difference between not making the NCAA to winning the CWS. It’s so obvious I don’t think I have to explain anything.
For golf, we will promote Coach Colnitis: http://und.cstv.com/sports/m-golf/mtt/colnitis_steve00.html. Everything else will stay the same.
I don’t think you can argue that this list shows the greatness that will be tgiab’s tenure as AD at ND. I can’t wait until the job is posted on the school’s job board.